My Anger Over Roman Polanski
Last night, instead of relaxing and spending a quiet evening watching the latest episode of Ken Burns documentary on America’s National Parks, I sat by the TV with my laptop reading about the people defending Roman Polanski, and getting very angry that anyone would try and defend someone who raped a 13 year old girl.
And my outrage, justified as it is, did no one any good.
I broke one of my own rules about staying mentally healthy. I let my life be affected by something I have no power over. So, i vowed to keep an eye on the news stories, and to try my best to not support anyone who is making excuses for him, or arguing that he shouldn’t have to face justice for what he did all those years ago, but I’m not going to waste my time arguing with people who want to go online and support his freedom. After all, anyone who could possibly dismiss the rape of a 13 year old girl isn’t really worth my time and effort, and isn’t going to suddenly see the error of their ways because of something I say.
So, I’ll keep my outrage and I’ll stay aware so that if there is anything I can do, I’ll be at the ready, but then I’ll go back to living my life. I can’t decide whether Roman Polanski will be extradited to face the State of California, but I can continue to do the work I do for survivors, and continue to live my life the best way I know how. That’s the road to mental health, not the one that focuses on my anger and outrage.
It’s troubling that so many are willing to ignore what he did to that girl all those years ago, but as survivors, are we really surprised? Haven’t we all seen example after example of people who want to do the same to our own pasts? How many people would like us to be quiet and just “get over it”. How may don’t want to believe that someone they know could do this? How many simply don’t believe you? Those people aren’t part of our healing, they should simply be left behind in their own ignorance. We’ve got more important work to do than argue with them.
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October 1st, 2009 at 6:41 am
Once again, Mike, I completely agree! My husband also told me he saw a headline about this story and it read something to the effect how Polanski raped a 13 year old girl but it was consensual. Talk about feeling rage! I came to the same conclusion you have. I need to keep focused on my on healing and helping those around me who want to be helped. Ironically, my husband told me this on our way to church where I was going to be facilitating a group of women who have been damaged by abuse and other losses.
October 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Amen, amen, amen! I totally agree! I needed to read this. Thanks.
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:08 am
I hear you Mike and feel as you do. I think our system is so screwed up, defending perpetrators, dismissing victims.
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Roman Polanski is guilty of abusing a minor and he really deserves to be in jail.
October 31st, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Isn’t it infuriating that so many would stand up for him? I guess if you are rich and famous you can do anything and it’s ok. It just makes me sick.
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:37 am
I agree with each of you. This is so wrong that he has been able to escape justice all of these years because he has money. The 13-year-old girl has suffered, I am sure.
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Mike I love that show too ! the national parks sh0ow I mean
It is frustrating and annoying and yes uit seems pointless at times . I wondered when I heard that the woman wanted the charges dropped , did she forget about the others ? was she paid off ? told it was in the past so to move on ?
I guess I just feel such a responsibility for those with no voice .
I know she may be healed and want to move on but does she honestly beleive she was the only one that man harmed ?Can she take the risk he hasn’t harmed anyone nor will he continue to rape another child. Yes she reported the abuse , yes she went on with life . Maybe it is to painful .
I just know I wait for the day for the abusers of myself and my siblings and others to be delt with so other children will not continue to be raped so children here and thailand will be safe etc.
for all the frustration , pain , seems a never ending battle I look into the eyes of a raped 2yo child and I know I have to not shut up.
although inbetween the serious we do need to find and have peace watching our documentries etc. laughing , eating good food with real friends etc.
I do hope perhaps this predator will be prosicuted with what testimony this woman already gave if it is still to much for her to deal with .