|

Note About Comments

Someone left a couple of comments on the site last night, anonymously, and then sent me an email using the email form anonymously as well, requesting that I remove the comments they had made, as they were embarrassed by having made them public. I agreed to honor that request, feeling that any comments made here belong to the person who made them.

I also deleted the comment I left in reply, as it no longer makes any sense, but without any contact information for the commenter, I wanted to copy my reply here, so they, and anyone else struggling with being a survivor, could see it:

My normal advice to any survivor that leaves messages here is usually to do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself first. I don’t know enough about your situation to say more than that, but I’ve found it to be the most effective thing for us to focus on. That may mean getting away from your family, it may not. In either case, feel free to join the social network I put together for abuse survivors at http://childabusesurvivor.ning.com/

Perhaps just reading the other stories will help you see that there is a place for every survivor, but sometimes it can take time to find it!

Similar Posts

  • |

    Grief is Hard, and Long

    Something else interests me about grief though and that is the grief that child abuse survivors have because it’s complicated. We aren’t grieving a person we’ve lost, we’re grieving something we never had. A safe, happy childhood or a loving parental relationship that didn’t exist. The lack of any kind of family bonds as an adult, or the inability to trust anyone. Those are things we can, and should, grieve. Often we aren’t given the chance to do that. Other people expect us to “put it behind us” because it was a long time ago. We may even convince ourselves that the best option is to suck it up and forget it, no reason to think about any of that. But, I think there’s a reason to grieve the things we didn’t have as children. They are very real losses. They have very real impacts on our brains and our emotional well-being. We can’t change it now, but we can allow ourselves the freedom to feel grief over it. It’s part of the process. 

  • |

    Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse April 2012 Edition

    So nice to see such a large number of submissions, and even more, some new folks submitting for the first time! Thanks to everyone for getting the word out, and for sharing their posts with us. It truly shows me that there are many, many survivors finding their voices during this month of child abuse…

  • Why Not Deal With It Now?

    I was interested in a post by Cecil Murphy over on the 1in6 website, and as I was reading it, I was saddened by the first paragraph. Recently, I read an in-progress master’s thesis on male sexual abuse. The writer’s research said that most men don’t deal with their abuse until they’re middle-aged—late 30s to…

  • |

    The Word Is Out

    The other day, while contemplating this site and the original purpose of it, I was struck by something profound, and sort of wonderful. Almost 12 years ago, I moved what had been a fledgling little website about being a survivor, and turned it into a blog. When I did that, I vowed to use this…

  • Facebook User Asking For Advice on Confronting Her Abuser

    Over on the Facebook page someone sent me a message asking for advice. Since I haven’t really faced a similar situation, with her permission I posted it to the page to see if anyone else had any wisdom to share. If you do, please go share your thoughts! Post by Child Abuse Survivor.

  • Megan’s Law is bad law

    As if these sorts of stories weren’t completely predictable, it seems that yet again someone listed on an offender registry has been the victim of vigilante justice in Sacramento. Years ago, when every child protection agency in the country was pushing for these laws I though they were a bad idea, and I still do….

6 Comments

  1. This is really nice to read. Very much goes along with healing, that we are in charge of what we need. I love your comment, and thank you for sharing it and for your respect of the person behind the comment. Refreshing in the world we live it. Thank you for stating that we have permission to take care of ourselves first. mile191

  2. I agree with mile191. We survivors sometimes need permission to take care of ourselves. It was affirming to read that and I really needed it right now. So maybe that is why that comment had to be made! Thanks.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond on your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL. Your response will then appear (possibly after moderation) on this page. Want to update or remove your response? Update or delete your post and re-enter your post's URL again. (Find out more about Webmentions.)